Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
