loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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