i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
