oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
