The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
