the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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