Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
