so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
