i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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