Having a random hookup so left but love u
If that was your dad, he is hot
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
