No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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