you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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