I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
