I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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