I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
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can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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