I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
