Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize