marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
