normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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