I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
