I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
