I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
