We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
