i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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