how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
