you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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