I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His hands were made for my vagina.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
