Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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