Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
