I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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