hell yes lets make some ravioli
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
