hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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