I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
