How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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