It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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