Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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