her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize