Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
