I CAN MOONWALK!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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