ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
