just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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