Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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