And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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