walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize