it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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