In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize