im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
