The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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