i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
