She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
