I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
