Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
NoShamevember. You game?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
