u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
