Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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